I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
