I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
