everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Acid is not a monday night drug
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
