I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
