im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
