yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
