How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
