shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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