all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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