she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just want nice things and good sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
