How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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