that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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