i barfeds in our rink
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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