i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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