shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Houston, we have a squirter
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
