Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
