I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
