so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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