my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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