Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
