where am i from again
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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