Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
