i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
