He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
