i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
