awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
