Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
