I smell stomach acid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
