so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
