office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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