I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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