New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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