tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
