WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
