I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
