i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
