meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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