Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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