Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
