Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
