Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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