she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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