Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
