i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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