brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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