So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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