He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Less talking, more tequila
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
