I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Soap is not a condiment
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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