If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
