Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
