You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
