this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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